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Marriage and Tajiks Rate Topic: -----

#61 User is offline   PORS Icon

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Posted 25 July 2008 - 04:27 PM

Sherinak-jan, do you want me to say it publicly or by PM? :)


Pors.

[QUOTE=Sherinak;12300]Who then, tel me?

Manizheh, did I say that I know you? :rolleyes: [/QUOTE]
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#62 User is offline   Kambiz Icon

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Posted 25 July 2008 - 04:56 PM

[QUOTE=dokhtare pulegun;12220]Lol, I will generalize as much as I please. You cannot deny that it is part of their culture to expect their wives to be kept inside the house :) [/QUOTE]

You are wrong, Dokhtar-jan;)

It is not a part of my culture, for instance.
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#63 User is offline   Phoenix Icon

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Posted 25 July 2008 - 04:58 PM

[QUOTE=PORS;12314]Sherinak-jan, do you want me to say it publicly or by PM? :)


Pors.[/QUOTE]

By pm. Cause it's 'private' things.
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#64 User is offline   Manizheh Icon

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Posted 25 July 2008 - 05:29 PM

[QUOTE=Sherinak;12307]No, I said, i'm old member as you guys(You and duchtare pelegun)[/QUOTE]

Mazeraat, man fekr konam ke eshtebah khoondam.
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#65 User is offline   Rostam Icon

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Posted 28 July 2008 - 03:26 PM

Dokhtare Pulegun,

You should marry the guy whom you love....and ethnicity is totally not relevant in this case.
We are all human beings.
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#66 User is offline   PORS Icon

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Posted 28 July 2008 - 06:46 PM

I think now I can come up with my own theory about "marriage and Tajiks". Here is how it all works: :D

1) If you were born in any Parsi speaking country and have lived there for more than 12 years, then you should marry Tajik man/girl. Because by that time one will absorb all cultural values of the country, therefore, later on when you get married and if it's not Tajik, it would be difficult because you have brought up and tasted different values of your own.

2) If you were born in any Parsi speaking country, but moved to another country when you were younger than 7 years old, then it's okay to get married to a man/girl of different origin or country. You will always have deep and sincere feelings toward your own culture, but your adopted and second culture and values would exceed those of your first one. So, it would be a lot easy and live happy life if you qualify for the second option. But be careful with the second alternative, because it has some big drawbacks in it.

Anyhow, this is just a hypothesis of mine over the period of life I have lived through and came up with. :) lol - If for some reason you are not qualified for the first one (because this is the best one) but you want to, then clear all your doubts and marry Tajik man/girl. Because in most cases, this is the winning option! - this was a hint for you ;)



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#67 User is offline   Manizheh Icon

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Posted 28 July 2008 - 07:22 PM

[QUOTE=Rostam;12450]Dokhtare Pulegun,

You should marry the guy whom you love....and ethnicity is totally not relevant in this case.
We are all human beings.[/QUOTE]

That's easy to say. But I am sure you are also aware of, that we, the people need someone who understand us, sharing the same culture is a huge advance. Marriage is choosing your life partner, someone who you are going to live with and maybe raise kids. Someone from an another culture is possible , but a bit difficult. Especially for us, we are not like the most people from the West, we dont marry one guy. It's essential for me to get on with his family and he with mine of course.
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#68 User is offline   PORS Icon

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Posted 28 July 2008 - 07:34 PM

Dorud Manizheh,

I was bit confused by the sentence highlighted below. Could you please elaborate that. Thanks.



Pors.

[QUOTE=Manizheh;12462]That's easy to say. But I am sure you are also aware of, that we, the people need someone who understand us, sharing the same culture is a huge advance. Marriage is choosing your life partner, someone who you are going to live with and maybe raise kids. Someone from an another culture is possible , but a bit difficult. Especially for us, we are not like the most people from the West, we dont marry one guy. It's essential for me to get on with his family and he with mine of course.[/QUOTE]
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#69 User is offline   Manizheh Icon

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Posted 28 July 2008 - 07:51 PM

[QUOTE=PORS;12463]Dorud Manizheh,

I was bit confused by the sentence highlighted below. Could you please elaborate that. Thanks.



Pors.[/QUOTE]

Most people from Europe, unlike us, are not realy devoted to there families.
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#70 User is offline   Nader Shah Icon

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Posted 29 July 2008 - 04:08 AM

Pors Jon.
Consider marriage counselling as one of your feature endeavours :)

[QUOTE=PORS;12460]I think now I can come up with my own theory about "marriage and Tajiks". Here is how it all works: :D

1) If you were born in any Parsi speaking country and have lived there for more than 12 years, then you should marry Tajik man/girl. Because by that time one will absorb all cultural values of the country, therefore, later on when you get married and if it's not Tajik, it would be difficult because you have brought up and tasted different values of your own.

2) If you were born in any Parsi speaking country, but moved to another country when you were younger than 7 years old, then it's okay to get married to a man/girl of different origin or country. You will always have deep and sincere feelings toward your own culture, but your adopted and second culture and values would exceed those of your first one. So, it would be a lot easy and live happy life if you qualify for the second option. But be careful with the second alternative, because it has some big drawbacks in it.

Anyhow, this is just a hypothesis of mine over the period of life I have lived through and came up with. :) lol - If for some reason you are not qualified for the first one (because this is the best one) but you want to, then clear all your doubts and marry Tajik man/girl. Because in most cases, this is the winning option! - this was a hint for you ;)



Pors.[/QUOTE]
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#71 User is offline   AFSUS Icon

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Posted 04 August 2008 - 01:34 PM

well i dont plan on marrying a tajik guy..

from what i saw in here in america they are not any diffrent from other men


its hurts me to see how these tajik guys treat our women

but i am pretty sure not every tajik is that way

the ones i have heard about and seen are nothing good.... :(
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#72 User is offline   Pur e Zaal Icon

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Posted 04 August 2008 - 04:32 PM

[QUOTE=AFSUS;12833]well i dont plan on marrying a tajik guy..

from what i saw in here in america they are not any diffrent from other men


its hurts me to see how these tajik guys treat our women

but i am pretty sure not every tajik is that way

the ones i have heard about and seen are nothing good.... :( [/QUOTE]

If all men are the same morally, Tajiks and non Tajiks, then being a Tajik has the advantage of being Tajik. Common language and culture, for example, is a privilege. Don't you agree? Had you said others are BETTER than Tajiks, then in that case, being a Tajik would'nt have mattered. So being a Tajik for a man, if all men were the SAME in America, is an advantage in itself.

Let me put my argument differently, If in America all girls were the same morally, Tajiks or non-Tajiks, then, being a Tajik girl would have the "added" benefit of offering common language and culture. We all speak English whether, we are Tajiks and nonTajiks. But to speak Farsi and have retained some Farsi culture definitely is a plus.

Again, it depends on how much we understand our culture and value it. The more we understand our history and culture, the more confident we feel. The understanding of our culture and civilization, our literary achievements, and our arts, increases our self-esteem and self-worth. Tajiks behave culturally based on their level of understanding of their culture. The more they become aware of their roots, the more they will adopt the noble traits of their fathers like Sa'adi, Hafiz, Rumi, Rodaki, Abu Raihan, Kheyam etc. So it's not Tajiks to blame, it's their LEVEL of awareness of their culture and roots.
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#73 User is offline   AFSUS Icon

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Posted 04 August 2008 - 07:25 PM

[QUOTE=Pur e Zaal;12839]If all men are the same morally, Tajiks and non Tajiks, then being a Tajik has the advantage of being Tajik. Common language and culture, for example, is a privilege. Don't you agree? Had you said others are BETTER than Tajiks, then in that case, being a Tajik would'nt have mattered. So being a Tajik for a man, if all men were the SAME in America, is an advantage in itself.

Let me put my argument differently, If in America all girls were the same morally, Tajiks or non-Tajiks, then, being a Tajik girl would have the "added" benefit of offering common language and culture. We all speak English whether, we are Tajiks and nonTajiks. But to speak Farsi and have retained some Farsi culture definitely is a plus.

Again, it depends on how much we understand our culture and value it. The more we understand our history and culture, the more confident we feel. The understanding of our culture and civilization, our literary achievements, and our arts, increases our self-esteem and self-worth. Tajiks behave culturally based on their level of understanding of their culture. The more they become aware of their roots, the more they will adopt the noble traits of their fathers like Sa'adi, Hafiz, Rumi, Rodaki, Abu Raihan, Kheyam etc. So it's not Tajiks to blame, it's their LEVEL of awareness of their culture and roots.[/QUOTE]

WELL a lot TAJIK men here only mostly marry women BECAUSE they need papers,,and how can you know that man LOVES YOU or he is just there to get his papers and thats all....i am not blaming tajiks I am blaming to what they have become ....is that ...is there even love anymore...but if i do marry someone he will defnietly be related to my culture..and alot of men here they came here not long ago i came here wen i was lik 9,,,and i have grown up here...i have been back in my country foryears and i miss iw onder how its like there now...soo yes the level is diffrent..AND I AM VERRY PROUD OF MY PRIDE AND I AM BLESSED AND I WILL NEVER FORGET MY HOME AND MY OWN ETHNICITY! WILL ALWAYS BE PROUD I WILL PASS IT TO MY KIDS AND SO ON
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#74 User is offline   Pur e Zaal Icon

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Posted 05 August 2008 - 05:16 AM

[QUOTE=AFSUS;12846]WELL a lot TAJIK men here only mostly marry women BECAUSE they need papers,,and how can you know that man LOVES YOU or he is just there to get his papers and thats all....i am not blaming tajiks I am blaming to what they have become ....is that ...is there even love anymore...but if i do marry someone he will defnietly be related to my culture..and alot of men here they came here not long ago i came here wen i was lik 9,,,and i have grown up here...i have been back in my country foryears and i miss iw onder how its like there now...soo yes the level is diffrent..AND I AM VERRY PROUD OF MY PRIDE AND I AM BLESSED AND I WILL NEVER FORGET MY HOME AND MY OWN ETHNICITY! WILL ALWAYS BE PROUD I WILL PASS IT TO MY KIDS AND SO ON[/QUOTE]

Barakallah, as our Tajik/Persian brothers in Iran shout with excitement upon seeing or hearing something good. I found your post very inspirational, especially the last lines. As a matter of fact, I have been in the chatrooms and forums here and there. But till now, I had never seen such a courageous and emphatic display of loyalty to Tajik culture by any Tajik girl so far. You can be a great mobilizing and awakening influence on some ethnically inactive Tajik girls, mainly the afghanistani Tajiks who still believe they are more "Afghan" than "Tajik."

I'd also like to register my reaction and response to the first part of your post about the betrayal caused by Tajik men who look for "papers." Undeniably it is a very tragic and ignoble behavior to play with some one's emotions, and perhaps future, for immigration purposes. I and every Tajik in this forum will condemn that behavior. However, you will not deny that cases like that might be solitary and do not represent the true essence of all Tajik men.

I wish we had something like a registered "Community" or "Association" of "Tajiks" that helped new comers with proper settlement and immigration procedures, where Tajiks, in general, paid a small monthly or annual subscription or membership fee. Although it might sound too utopian at first, but pondering for a few seconds, one can see that many other ethnic groups already have theirs. The presence of such a body would have certainly reduced, if not eradicated, some of those deplorable instances that have caused you to be alittle suspicious about the moral steadiness our Tajik brothers.

Pedrod!
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#75 User is offline   AFSUS Icon

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Posted 05 August 2008 - 08:19 PM

[QUOTE=Pur e Zaal;12879]Barakallah, as our Tajik/Persian brothers in Iran shout with excitement upon seeing or hearing something good. I found your post very inspirational, especially the last lines. As a matter of fact, I have been in the chatrooms and forums here and there. But till now, I had never seen such a courageous and emphatic display of loyalty to Tajik culture by any Tajik girl so far. You can be a great mobilizing and awakening influence on some ethnically inactive Tajik girls, mainly the afghanistani Tajiks who still believe they are more "Afghan" than "Tajik."

I'd also like to register my reaction and response to the first part of your post about the betrayal caused by Tajik men who look for "papers." Undeniably it is a very tragic and ignoble behavior to play with some one's emotions, and perhaps future, for immigration purposes. I and every Tajik in this forum will condemn that behavior. However, you will not deny that cases like that might be solitary and do not represent the true essence of all Tajik men.

I wish we had something like a registered "Community" or "Association" of "Tajiks" that helped new comers with proper settlement and immigration procedures, where Tajiks, in general, paid a small monthly or annual subscription or membership fee. Although it might sound too utopian at first, but pondering for a few seconds, one can see that many other ethnic groups already have theirs. The presence of such a body would have certainly reduced, if not eradicated, some of those deplorable instances that have caused you to be alittle suspicious about the moral steadiness our Tajik brothers.

Pedrod![/QUOTE]
you are absolutely right!

you are verry smart guy

and thanks for understanding!
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#76 User is offline   dokhtare pulegun Icon

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Posted 05 August 2008 - 11:00 PM

Quote

well i dont plan on marrying a tajik guy..


*high-fives*

Proof that you can be a proud Tajik without having to marry one.
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Posted 06 August 2008 - 01:02 AM

[QUOTE=dokhtare pulegun;12932]*high-fives*

Proof that you can be a proud Tajik without having to marry one.[/QUOTE]

:P :P:p
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#78 User is offline   PORS Icon

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Posted 07 August 2008 - 05:52 AM

Pur e Zaal and Afsus, do you guys know each other?
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#79 User is offline   Pur e Zaal Icon

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Posted 07 August 2008 - 07:50 AM

Dear Pors,

Thanks for asking that. It's only a couple of days that I have registered. I don't know anyone in person, if that's what you meant. However, I feel like I have known most of you through your posts. For example, I have read so many of your own posts that it feels as if I have known you for months now :) Sometimes, when I come across a post which has some interesting point of view in it, I do list my views there too.

Honestly, I am thrilled to find myself sharing this forum with great folks here. There are divergent topics, diverse perspectives, smart analysis, mutual respect, and a sense of unity of purpose. I feel everybody is welcome here as long as they present their opinions decently.

Regards
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Posted 07 August 2008 - 01:16 PM

Dorud Pur e Zaal-e arjmand:

Firstly, thank You very much for your informative post. It's always our pleasure to read what our new fellow members write and post because to some extent that represents their perspectives (although it's all virtual). I am personally glad to see you are being active and hope you will be with us for good.

Secondly, it's interesting to read your post about "Tajiks and marriage." Despite the fact that girls here are not so willing to marry "Tajiks", I am sure your posts a bit enlightened them and had an impact on them. Sometimes, it's so frustrating how these girls generalize us all. :D I haven't came across any posts in which any member had such negative impressions about Tajik women. We always point positive sides about them and nurture those good qualities in them so they become better, however, it's not the same way for our women. They prefer to talk about how Valy is short and how they don't like him. :D Bechare Valy, aknoon en gap ha ra shonavad, delash az dokhtar hae enja mimanad. - just kidding.

Anyways, I hope you will make many friends in this forum and will personally get them know. I just think it should be a vital part of this forum, to personally know each other and stay in contact.

Pedrud,




Pors.

[QUOTE=Pur e Zaal;12979]Dear Pors,

Thanks for asking that. It's only a couple of days that I have registered. I don't know anyone in person, if that's what you meant. However, I feel like I have known most of you through your posts. For example, I have read so many of your own posts that it feels as if I have known you for months now :) Sometimes, when I come across a post which has some interesting point of view in it, I do list my views there too.

Honestly, I am thrilled to find myself sharing this forum with great folks here. There are divergent topics, diverse perspectives, smart analysis, mutual respect, and a sense of unity of purpose. I feel everybody is welcome here as long as they present their opinions decently.

Regards[/QUOTE]
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